As a father of young kids, it’s kind of hard for me to say ‘No’ to this question, although I also don’t want any of my children to apply self-defense in an unnecessary manner one day (when I receive a call from school). I guess it’s about how we teach our children to protect themselves while helping them to understand when to do it.
So, should self-defense be taught at schools?
Yes, but only after a parent is sure of their child’s readiness to learn self defense, the course is evaluated to ensure that good morals and values underpin this training and lastly that children understand what self-defense really means and what depicts a dangerous situation in order to apply it.
Below I also outline our experience and what role a school should play when it comes to self-defense.
My Experience With Teaching My Son About Protecting Himself
As a parent, you will know exactly at which angle to make your point. For instance, to my 4-year-old boy, everything is about superheroes, Avengers, PJ Mask, good guys and bad guys (villains – a new word he surprised us with one afternoon).
This was my cue to introduce this kind of topic to him in context of scenes in movies as we watched it. But I always emphasize that the good guys take action only when absolutely necessary even though they don’t want to hurt anyone.
I go along the lines of:
‘Hurting others is never something we want to do, just like how you don’t want your little brother and sister to get hurt, you won’t hurt them and you don’t want others to hurt them either’.
Choosing The Right Moment To Discuss Before Schools Teach
- Best Time: A key to nailing this discussion is to ensure you achieve the maximum attention from your little ones. I’ve found that it’s usually during his appreciative moments or just before or after he gets rewarded or treated for some good deed of his.
- The Worst Time: When they do something wrong or when they’re fighting with a sibling and you’re trying to teach them a lesson. That’s the moment where their judgment is most clouded, their guards are up and they see you in a very correcting mode.
Choosing the right moment goes a long way in how your child digests this information.
To What Extent Should Schools Teach Self Defense?
Proactive Thinking
If a school is undertaking a special project or campaigning against anti-bullying, child trafficking or raising awareness about kidnapping, it might be an opportune time for schools to implement a short course on children protecting themselves or proactively avoiding these kinds of situations as opposed to taking violent action against an attacker.
I guess I’m trying to hint more at schools teaching kids to be proactive in noticing or being aware of such possibilities.
Physical
Whether a school should teach kids how to physically protect themselves by either shielding or striking the attacker back is up for debate.
I think schools will be exposing themselves to judgment from several parents who would prefer their kids to not be thought about violence or would rather teach their children themselves.
Personally, I would rather teach my children myself because, as parents, we better understand our children physically, temperamentally and more importantly at what age they’re ready to learn self-defense.
Should Self Defense Be Allowed In Schools?
A person or child usually acts in different situations based on different scenarios. Whether or not a child in school decides to practice protecting himself in self defense or not could be based on several factors which are out of the schools’ control and in all fairness whether a school permits self defense or not, it may be inevitable at times.
Generally, a school should not promote violence in any form as its first culture is to be an environment that cultivates learning, safety, happiness and all the warm and fuzzy sentiments to go with family.
With this being the motive of a school, it therefore implies that no school student should be attacked for any reason whatsoever, hence there being no secondary reason for kids to protect themselves as a result.
If a school encourages self defense, then the school implicitly implies that its environment is not a safe place in the first place for a child to have to defend themselves.
So, if a school encourages self-defense, this is one angle to look at it and if I were you, I would raise this concern as a parent. Saying this, it does not mean that a school is bad, it just means that the school acknowledges that not everything is within their control in every single corner of their schoolyard, understandably so.
Importance Of Kids Self-defense & Protection at Schools
So then, if schools are not 100% in control of what goes on in every corner of their school, they should to some extent encourage kids to protect themselves against bullies or unfair or horse-play as well as caution children about afterschool safety, whether they’re walking home, taking the bus or picked up by parents or family.
In this instance, schools should encourage children to protect themselves by either fighting back or raising attention to any ulterior activity occurring.
As a cautionary effort, our neighboring schools have teachers on duty at the exit gates once of school closes to ensure the safety of kids or to keep an eye on any irregular activity that may occur. I’m sure this can be a proactive deterrent to those thinking of targeting children at school gates.
Benefits Of Kids Self Defense
Endless benefits here!
I’m not going to write a long list of bullet points here just to waste your time and make this article any longer. Let’s be real here, it’s simple, what can be more important than the safety & life of your child? If a child is in a compromising situation, knowing any form of self defense (whether physical or just how to avoid situations) could be pivotal. Need I say more!
Why And When Is Self Defense Bad For My Child?
Why?
If not careful, introducing self-defense to your child can be self-destructive to a child’s mind, especially if the application of it is misunderstood or misinformed. The love and secure environment we work hard to express at home are all short-lived when we introduce the topic of self-defense and the need to be safe (and this is beside the other topic of home invasions).
For a child to understand how to apply self-defense, he or she unfortunately first has to understand the cruel nature and ugly side of life with its intention to hurt them.
This exposes an innocent child’s mind to the existence of a cruel nature that intends to hurt them or taken away in our absence. This further raises another insecurity or a child having to now grapple with a thought of us, as their parents, not always being there to protect them – this alone is a heartbreaking thought.
When?
Self-defense if bad when you get a call from kindergarten about your child beating the wits out of a child who only pushed him. Oops!
So, the point here is the ‘application’ of self-defense. It’s imperative that our children clearly identify exactly when to use self-defense.
An easy set of rules can help your child to understand this better eg.
1. When a stranger carries you when you and don’t like it and he/she doesn’t want to let you down. (Define that a stranger is someone they do not know)
2.A stranger holds your hand and doesn’t want to let go even when you scream. (Define that someone is a stranger even if they are smiling or have a puppy, sweets or whatever it is they love)
3.A friend in school is not someone you want to hit or defend yourself against even if they push you, instead tell a teacher instead of handling this yourself (still explain the difference between a push and being bullied).
You get the gist here. Clear and unambiguous communication and repetition is key with our kids.
